Black Angry Women

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Black Infants, Black Babies, and Black Toddlers

BlackParentSpeaks wakes up thinking about — and troubled about — the safety of our younger Blacks and the Black babies still to be born.  How does a parent, a caregiver to the Black youth of our nation, lessen some of the many everyday dangers found in our homes?

First and foremost, if something — some toy — strikes you as UNsafe for an infant, a baby, a toddler, remove it now — get rid of that toy!  You as an adult must always operate from a position of ‘it is better to err on the side of safety’ when it comes to our young folk’.  That said, let us look at just a few of the everyday dangers to our Black infants, Black babies and Black toddlers that are in our homes today.

Mobiles and hanging objects above your baby’s crib and bed should only be done with caution and after thorough examination by YOU.  As cute as some of the mobiles seem and are, some can be harmful and/or dangerous.  Also, ask yourself — Is your child’s  constant eye fixation on the object or objects healthy, unhealthy or…?  Does your child’s eye-fixation on the object or objects create a trance-like state?  Think about your child’s brain development and do as wisdom leads you.

BlackParentSpeaks contends that it is far better for our babies to have ‘eye freedom’ to explore the world around them without the blockage of mobiles and/or hanging objects over their cribs.  Remember that eye fixation is often used as a tool in hypnosis….  This is just one of the reasons BlackParentSpeaks cautions you — the adult — with respect to mobiles and hanging objects on and/or above your baby’s crib.

Is it a plus for caregivers to give their babies and toddlers a plethora of toys?  No, no, and no!  And, be aware of the safety and UNsafe nature of many of the toys that are out there.  Examine the toy visually first.  Is it ethnically representative of your Black child?  Is the toy positive — is it educational — is it healthy, stimulating and fun!  Does the toy have removable parts?  Is the toy put together/assembled in a SAFE way?  Are the outer edges of the toy smooth and safe to handle without fear of getting cut or being poked?  If there are removable parts to the toy, make certain that those parts are LARGE and way-too-BIG for your baby to squeeze into his or her mouth!

If there is a battery compartment to a toy given to your baby or toddler, make sure the battery compartment is securely closed and use STRONG adhesive tape to better secure the closure.  Remember to continually inspect that area of the toy regularly and re-tape that area of the toy BEFORE the need arises.  Try to keep  a roll of adhesive tape available and handy in your home.  If you observe screws, etc. on the outside of the toy, rub your finger over the areas to make sure that none are protruding or have sharp or jagged edges.  Examine all sides of the toy — including the underside.  Remember that it is ultimately YOU who must take steps to best assure your child’s safety and well-being.

BlackParentSpeaks functions from the position that ‘forewarned is forearmed’. That said, it is preferable to let all know that you — the adult — are ethnically conscious.  Accordingly, do NOT give a Black child a White doll!  Black children need to see themselves reflected in the dolls and other toys they are given … even the items they receive from other adults!

If a White person (or any other person) asks YOU — the parent, the caregiver — beforehand about buying your Black child a gift, be clear and state emphatically that if the gift is going to be a doll, that doll MUST reflect your Black child — the doll must be Black.  Do NOT hesitate in your response.  And, if that person turns around and buys your Black child a White doll and gives that doll as a gift to your Black child, know that that person has zero respect for you and/or your Black child.  Know that and REact accordingly….  (As a side note:  Been there, done that!  When BlackParentSpeaks’ children were young, BlackParentSpeaks had such an experience with her middle child’s White teacher. Needless to say, BlackParentSpeaks quickly and EFFECTIVELY handled the situation…..)

Recognizing and respecting that change is a constant, today’s children are inundated with far more complexities in toys than the children of yesterday.  Parents often are inclined to give their children the latest gadgets on the market.  Think BEFORE you make that purchase!  Be both conservative and wise and learn to say ‘no’ when you feel inclined to buy buy buy.

Recognize that both babies and many toddlers have a tendency to put inappropriate things in their mouths.  Gently and patiently train your child to NOT continue such habits.  Refocusing the child’s attention and playing hand games are just two ways to hopefully lessen such tendencies.  Children learn from their environment so be aware of your choice of words and your actions and your own behaviors.  Know that mistakes are a part of learning;  be both patient and loving when and if mistakes are made.  And. remember to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as appropriate.  Teach yourself and teach your child.

Let your Black child know that he/she matters.  Respect your Black child.  Allow your child to have his/her own space; do NOT allow others to invade your child’s space.  Be aware and prepared and do not let others touch your child’s face or hair, etc.  (BlackParentSpeaks mentions this because of the tendency shown by Whites to randomly reach out and touch a Black child’s cheek and/or hair without warning….)

Be familiar with the books that you give to your Black child — read the books for positive content and look at the pictures and graphics.  Make certain that the books are age appropriate; cardboard books with a few short sentences per cardboard page and colorful graphics for ages 0 to 20+ months, etc.  Let reading be fun, entertaining, and interesting.  Be flexible and patient and share and enjoy with your Black child.

Although this post by BlackParentSpeaks has barely touched the surface with regards to parenting our Black infants, babies, and toddlers; hopefully, it will help all to think about what we do and do not do.

Don’t forget our reparations!  Do YOU know what time it is?

Feel free to share this BlackAngryWomen blog with others.  We are all works in progress.

Undying love for Black People

http://BlackAngryWomen.com/

 

Food for ‘Black’ thought:

(a) If you want to die, go to a hospital.

(b) It is often wiser to be proactive as opposed to reactive.  However, it is sometimes better to do and/or say something than to go away and wish later that you had done or said something.

(c)  Click the Donate button at the top right of BlackAngryWomen and donate now if you are so inclined.  Remember to forward BlackAngryWomen posts to others. 

(d)  It is NOT okay for adults to whip or beat children.  Adults should be creative, loving, and patient when motivating and interacting with children.  An adult should never verbally or physically abuse a child.

(e)  Pick an opportune moment to turn off and put out-of-sight your phone for a minimum of 5 to 7 hours.  If you are able to do this, you may experience a true sense of relief and accomplishment afterwards.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Black Natural Hair and Mental Slavery

The c.1967 journey to Black ‘natural’ hair freedom came by way of defiance and happenstance for BlackParentSpeaks. I was working as Secretary to Attorney Julian Dugas in DC – the nation’s capital – at the time. My employer was the Neighborhood Legal Services Project/Program (NLSP).

The morning BlackParentSpeaks went from ‘pressed’ hair to ‘Natural and Black’ hair is quite revealing. As was normal, I had gotten up for work and washed my hair with the intent of pressing same before leaving for work. Suddenly, there was an unexpected knock at my apartment door.

Quickly, I walked to the door and opened it to let in my sister who had recently moved to DC by way of California. We embraced and began sharing memories as I agreed to introduce her to ‘particular’ Blacks in the DC area.

Caught up in the excitement of my sister’s visit, time flew. After an hour or so of ‘talk’, my sister reminded me of my UNpressed hair and my job. She said words to the effect of ‘Oh, I had better leave now so that you will have time to press your hair before going to work…. There is no way that you can let ‘White’ folk see your nappy hair.’

Without missing a beat, I dismissively replied to my sister that she need not rush as I had no intention of pressing my hair. I told my sister that I was going to wear my hair ‘natural’ to work.

My sister became increasingly livid as she first urged and finally DEMANDED that I either press my hair or get a permanent! She expressed that one of the worse things I could do was to go to work with ‘nappy’ hair…. My sister spoke of my upbringing and told me that it would reflect on our family name if I were to show my ‘nappy’ hair to others.

Stunned by my sister’s assertions and words, I reacted telling her that I was NOT ashame of my ‘natural’ hair and that I would wear my hair however I chose to wear my hair.

My sister angrily made the decision to leave my apartment after acknowledging that she obviously could not change my mind.

Following my sister’s exit from my place, I hastily grabbed a blue strip of material and beautifully wrapped my natural hair before heading off to work. In my opinion, my ‘look’ was both refreshing and stunning and I had no reason to expect anything less than accolades.

The Director of NLSP was ‘Black’ attorney Julian Dugas. I was Mr. Dugas’ Personal Secretary – offered the job by him following his ‘questionable’ handling of my racial discrimination case against the Agency for International Development (AID). My work desk was directly outside Attorney Dugas’ office as information.

Roughly 30 minutes to an hour into the work day, Attorney Dugas rather loudly confronted me about my head wear. Simply put, Mr. Dugas shouted “What the hell is that on your head!???”

I responded that I was wearing a head wrap.

Mr. Dugas angrily ordered me to take my head wrap off as he went back into his office and slammed the door.

In accordance with Attorney Dugas’ orders, I UNwrapped my ‘natural’ hair and continued to do the business of the day.

Shortly after my removal of my head wrap, Attorney Dugas stood before my desk and demanded that I not report to work again with ‘natural’ hair or a head wrap. I responded in a firm and equally ‘loud’ voice the following:

“Mr. Dugas, you have two choices. Either you will see a head wrap every day that I work here or you will see my ‘natural’ hair. You decide….”

Mr. Dugas’ response – ‘Well, I’d rather see your ‘nappy’ hair than a head wrap.’

The negative outbursts and reactions BlackParentSpeaks received from fellow Blacks in response to my ‘natural’ hair helped me in my overstanding resolve. We — who are Black — must be defining in our purpose to both break and remove the shackles of mental enslavement.

‘Don’t forget our reparations’.

Feel free to share this BlackAngryWomen blog with others. We are all works in progress. Do YOU know what time it is? http://BlackAngryWomen.com/

Undying love for Black people!

http://BlackAngryWomen.com/


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Black and Natural

I am Black.  I am angry.  I am a woman.  And, you – you are at the ‘blog ‘website of BlackAngryWomen.  I am one of the writers featured on this blog site.  My blog name is BlackParentSpeaks.

There are countless reasons for my anger – most, if not all, stem from slavery.  That said, it is now time to get down.

Black women have always been the mainstay of our Black world and we have always remained faithful, loyal, forgiving, and self-sacrificing when it came to our Black men especially.  We have loved unconditionally and we have bargained ourselves in our quest to help lift-up our Black men, our children, and ourselves.    Our journey, borne out of love, has been fraught with pain, sacrifice, and more sacrifice.

On the ‘Black’ side, Black Women have serious issues and problems relating to self.

We have bought in to the objectification of ourselves by others and we are today characteristically confused.  Well, it is past time to brush off the images and the facade and to get real.  Black women, get rid of the weaves and other forms of fake hair worn atop your heads.  Show your Natural hair and stop altering your hair’s natural color.  I overstand that you truly believe you look ‘better’ when you are so adorned.  But, please believe me – you do not.  You are beautiful in your natural state, not in a made-up and phony state.  It is your ‘white’ mentality that is leading you to think of your Natural hair as less than….   Be real and project that realness!  Feel worthy and good about the hair you were born with, whether it be coarse, silky or anything in between.  And, if you do not have hair, feel good about that as well.  For, whatever is natural to you is, in fact, beautiful and worthy.  Love yourself unconditionally as you travel through life’s journey.  As you practice and continue to apply the art of self-love, you will grow strong and stronger in the process.

Know that other Black women, Whites, and fear-controlled Blacks will be taken aback because of the Natural strength you begin to show as you wear and display your Natural hair.  However, be advised that many — and possibly most — will do whatever they can to turn you back around.  Some will ask ‘dumb’ questions like ‘How did you get your hair that way?’  Some will ask if they can ‘touch’ your hair.  Others will ask ‘What is going on?’ or ‘Are you okay?’  The questions and comments will be endless.  In some cases, some of the folk you thought of as ‘friends’ will move to separate themselves from you.  And, some of the more vocal folk will question whether you are turning into a ‘militant’!  Believe it or not, some among the more ignorant will joke about your Natural hair and urge you to return to the day when you wore non-Natural hair.  You will be told that you looked better yesterday, when you wore fake hair; and you will be the subject of inquiring stares and unfriendly looks.

Black women, be advised that your journey with Natural hair will not be an easy one.  Employers – both White and Black — will be caught off-guard and co-workers may become nervous and uncomfortable working around you.  You could be called in to HR (Human Resources) and questioned relative to your Natural hair.  Employers who lack integrity and scruples may falsify complaints and reasons to discipline and/or fire you.   Some co-workers and employers could even stoop so low as to alter your work in order to make it look like you are mistake-prone, underproductive, and/or nonproductive.   You could be labeled as lazy.  You could be written up as a difficult-to-manage employee.

It is well-known that many many many White men – and some White women — are sexually attracted to Black women.  Well, a Black woman wearing a Natural will experience even more ‘hit-ons’ from Whites.  Fact is fact and no matter how many folk feign denial and/or state otherwise, it is what it is.  Forewarned is forearmed so be prepared and have your stuff in order….  Stories have been told about most stern and focused White men and White women who lose direction and become overbearing and, sometimes, dangerous in their lust for ‘Natural’ Black women.  Please be aware.

Black women must forever be cognizant of who we are and those around us.  We who are Black women must lift each other up as we journey forward.  We must encourage one another as we embrace ourselves.

Feel free to share this BlackAngryWomen blog with others.  We are all works in progress.  Do YOU know what time it is?  https://blackangrywomen.com/

Undying love for Black people!

https://blackangrywomen.com/