BlackParentSpeaks did not ask to be approached nor did BlackParentSpeaks know what she was about to be told by an unknown-to-her and rather gaunt White gentleman.
As BlackParentSpeaks sat alone in a public venue, a White man sauntered up to her and asked if he could talk to her. The man warned that what he was about to say would perhaps be too much for BlackParentSpeaks to listen to. The man expressed that if his words became too difficult to listen to and hear, BlackParentSpeaks would simply need to tell him so and he would leave.
I looked up at the man and indicated that it was okay for him to sit next to me and speak the words that appeared to be so heavily on his mind.
The man sat down and proceeded to talk. What I heard from the White man’s lips and mouth was beyond anything I could have imagined at the time.
The man indicated that he was German and had been intimately involved in the Jewish Holocaust in Germany; whether willingly or unwillingly he was not certain. He spoke intimately of what he and his family had repeatedly done with respect to the Jewish people. The things he told me were way beyond anything I had read or heard about relative to the Holocaust.
As the man spoke, he avoided looking directly at me. Rather, it was as though he was in a state of both ‘confession’ and depression. Me, I was transfixed in my seat and soon purposely took my eyes off of him as I began to stare straight ahead.
Yes, BlackParentSpeaks listened to and heard the man’s words – horrific words explaining the ‘why’ of his involvement. His words were about what he, his family and other Germans did to the Jewish people in Germany. As the man spoke his words, it was as if he was back in Germany and revisiting that period of his life and the lives of his family members. He expressed that he did not know if he even had a choice for it was his duty to do as he was told to do.
After what seemed like a long three hours or so, the man asked me if God would forgive him for what he had done. He asked me if what he had done was too terrible for God to forgive.
I hesitated in responding so as to purposely and carefully choose my words.
I told the man that I could not answer him. I told him that what he had done and the question of God’s forgiveness could only be answered by God in my belief. BlackParentSpeaks urged the man to talk to God in private….
At the end of the man’s ‘confession’ to me, he thanked me for allowing him to speak and to say all that he felt burning inside of him. After expressing his gratitude to me, he slowly rose from his seat, stood erect, took several deliberate breaths and walked away.
Me, I could not bring myself to long follow the man’s departure with my eyes. Instead, I remained seated and dwelled upon the things the man had ‘shared’ – the intimate details of what the man had said to me….
Periodically, I remember the events of that occasion. I have jotted down notes pertaining to what was told to me; however, considering the horror revealed, I am hesitant in sharing beyond those I shared same with around the time of my encounter.
BlackParentSpeaks wonders whether even Jewish people know the extent of what was done to them. BlackParentSpeaks wonders if ‘knowing’ would be helpful or devastating and haunting to learn.
BlackParentSpeaks does not know the answer. Do you?
Was BlackParentSpeaks ‘chosen’ to hear the man’s confession? Was BlackParentSpeaks racially selected to hear the man’s confession? Or, was it just a matter of happenstance that BlackParentSpeaks was approached? Was any other person asked to listen prior to BlackParentSpeaks?
Be Informed and Be Aware.
Don’t forget our Reparations! Do YOU know what time it is?
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